Warning! t-shirt

Attention all civilians: Beware of the grizzled veteran in your midst. They come equipped with a lifetime of "war stories" (most of which involve excessive amounts of coffee and questionable humor), a vocabulary that could make a pirate blush, and a tendency to make unsolicited observations about the current state of the world. They may greet you with "Back in my day..." followed by an epic rant about the glory of analog technology and how "snowflakes" have ruined everything. Proceed with caution: they can be sweet as pie when they like you, but should you mention anything remotely "soft" or "newfangled," prepare for a tirade that may include everything from unsolicited advice to bizarre references to military jargon you’ll never understand.

The best defense? A good sense of humor and a willingness to nod and smile... while slowly backing away.